Form 6 and reminiscence from the memories

The day has finally come. After 4 months of hibernating, I finally get to school today, to study for Form 6. Quite frankly though, I do not expect myself to study in the same school when I was in Form 5. Yet things works rather different in reality, where we must prepare for the impossible. Sometimes thing may not end up just as we thought.

Reason why I'm in Form 6? It's quite obvious isn't it? I did not get an offer to go for matriculation. In fact, only 3 students in my school - SMK Paduka Tuan get the chances to further their studies there. As we all know, results in SPM doesn't really matter. They just choose the students randomly and of course, giving the main priority for the bumiputera (couldn't figure the English term for this).

Besides matriculation, I had also apply for the JPA scholarship and I actually got an offer for JPA interview. However, I did not go for it. When I told this great oppurtunity to my fellow friends and relative, the answer will always be a tie - Such a waste! So why did I turned in down at the first place? It's rather shame for me to state my reason here but I'll mention it anyways, it's a blog ya? Firstly, I lack of self-confidence and one can hardly hear me speak English in the public. I just couldn't. Speaking of public speaking and self-confidence, I'm also afraid of the MUET (Malaysian University English Test) which require all Form 6 students to sit for. I have this thought for a long time, after I receive the offer. The students that are going for the interview will definitely speaking like a professor and possess a strong self-confidence within them. I must admit that my English speaking is rather average and I probably remain silence among the interviewers, especially since many eyes focus on me. Nowadays it's quite rare for a teenagers aged between 17-18 in Malaysia to actually do a public speaking with no fear at all. Perhaps I'm just one of them. Perhaps studying in Form 6 in the next 2 years can build my confidence at least to a few stages above.

As we all know, all Form 6 students are required to attend a week of orientation for it's a part of JPN plan. In my case, sorry, in all Form 6 students case, it started today. In a session there's been a slide show displaying the reason why we're all in Form 6. Among them are: Does not get an offer for matriculation and does not got the financial support. I just couldn't find my answer elsewhere in the screen - DESTINY. Yeah, it's my fate and destiny to be here in Form 6 and I just couldn't say why or how. It's just a part of God plans.

Challenging as it might sound to be, many top students are transfered to my school. This next two years will definitely be a harsh year for me. If there's so many competitors, I must struggle myself to join with them by studying even harder.

If only I can return to the past, I will definitely go back to the primary school, where the sweetest moment lies... -

- Without worries (only need to focus on UPSR). Whether the result good or not, one will definitely get a chance to further their studies in secondary school.
- Can always depend to the parents. Parents will always make the best choice for us, depends on their financial support. One will not need to work outdoor to earn a living. Everything we had such as clothes, toys come from the income from our parents.
- No need to plan far enough. Our parents will do the job for us
and many more...

Just imagine what will your childhood look like? Do you still prefer the adult life that you enjoy now, or perhaps...?